My dearest Gerard, you are never more than a thought away from me. I am sitting here at my desk at work, looking at your photo and wishing with every breath in my body that you could be home with Matthew and me this Xmas. I know that its impossible but you can't blame a girl for dreaming. I love and miss you so much but there are times when I am feeling so low that I can feel your presence near me, encouraging me to carry on with life especially for our little boy. I will raise a glass to you this xmas as I have done on the last 2 without you. Forever in my heart and memories, I adore you. xoxoxoxo